Thursday, 15 August 2013

Life lately - via Instagram

a bit of bakin'

lazy breakfasts in bed

beach walks

fun with friends 

homegrown delights

cuddles with a sick Siddy

afternoons in the sun

sunbakin' sillies

breakfast on the back verandah with my Jdawg

pretties from the garden

Life Lately....

Looking forward to: my little brother coming to visit! We only get to see him once or twice a year - living on opposite sides of the country and all that - but his visits are always so special for our family. It is a beautiful thing to see how happy he is becoming as he gets older and finds his place in life. I don't think I could possibly put into words how proud I am of this kid, and of the man he is becoming. Just a shame his lovely girlfriend (who has a lot to do with his happiness) won't be with him this time. Still, roll on September and a Hooke catch up - yay!

Something I am enjoying: After having been given the hot tip on a couple of new series by my very clever sister-in-law - I am not ashamed to say that Jon and I have finished them both already! 
Vikings is a great series about - surprisingly - the Vikings, and in particular a fella called Ragnar Lothbrok and his rise to "fame". Now I don't know if it is the fact he is played by former Aussie model Travis Fimmel or what - but I thoroughly enjoyed the (not historically exactly correct) series a LOT and can't wait for the new series in 2014.

The other series was a French show called The Returned. The premise of the show is a bunch of dead and buried folk returning to the small mountain town they are from - apparently not realising they are dead and having no recollection of what has happened to them. Very mysterious, very intriguing, very can't-stop-watching.... go and watch it - right meow!

Something I am grateful for: I originally started this blog because I felt like all my trying to find a community of infertile folk online to connect with was in vain - that the blogs and groups that I had found, I couldn't relate to in any way. 
Never the less, I have continued to try and find blogs and people out there who are going through the same thing who I could get some peace of mind from. It has dawned on me over the past year - that the most likely reason why I can't exactly relate to the people I have found is because their journeys are so much further along than ours. 
I noticed a lot of them talk in abbreviations which I found hard to understand - IVF, PCOS, HCG, AI, AO, HSG etc etc. At first this annoyed me, I didn't want to discuss something so emotional and personal to me in abbreviations and weird code words (eg BFN = Big Fat Negative - for the longest time I thought it meant something scientific - turns out it's just a polite way of saying "it didn't EFFING work - again!").  
As time has gone on, I have realised that I haven't had to experience half of the things these people have - and that having a simplistic way to describe the turmoil in their lives without "harping on" might have been a relief for them. 
When I read these stories, it occurs to me that we are probably at the starting block on the Monopoly Board of Fertility Treatment, while these folks have gone right the way around with a few "go directly to jail" set backs along the way. 
I recently heard about a lovely couple I know, from my hometown, who have endured 9 IVF transfers (with an assortment of other unpleasant treatments over 7 years!!) and are now expecting their first little munchkin. It kinda floored me a bit actually - what the hell have I been whinging about?? Yeah, we have been trying for years and putting up with the disappointments etc - but there are others who have really put their cards on the table and gone for it and ended up disappointed a LOT more times than us. 
While finances and circumstances are holding things up slightly - we still have a LOT of tricks up our sleeve to try yet - and for that I am grateful.

Monday, 29 July 2013

Friday, 26 July 2013


Now if ever a song was able to put a smile on my face (usually just because I am remembering the rah-rah skirts and side ponytails I used to rock when listening to that song) it would be from this time - not that all of the following are particularly "happy" tunes - but still - a great era for some cheesy, some amazing, some unforgettable musical moments - for me.

S xx
what would be on your ultimate 80's list? Have I forgotten something/someone? - I feel like I have! Far too many to choose from...

Not even remotely about baby makin'......

I am a little bit sad this week. Sad and disheartened. Feeling blue. Down in the dumps. Wound up. All of those things. And for once it isn't anything to do with our baby makin'.... that stress has been put on the back burner for a time, while Jon and I have been doing lovely things like fixing our house and gardens (VERY slowly), watching movies, having lazy brunches at home on the weekends etc etc.
No folks, this time my sadness is being caused by the ongoing debate (some may say brawl) that is happening in my sleepy old town of Bowen. 
Basically, there is a proposal waiting on government approval at this very moment to determine whether the coal port (Abbot Point) located just outside our little town should be expanded (by means of dredging the ocean bed to allow the expansion infrastructure) to accommodate increased traffic and export.
The frustration and desperation for this oh-so-important decision to be pushed ahead in the quickest amount of time possible (which has already been delayed as a new Environment Minister has been appointed in the meantime) is palpable - and is rearing its head in really heated and, sometimes, ugly discussion. 
There are two valid sides to the debate - one is the fact that our town is dying, literally, suffocating under the strain of high unemployment, failed businesses and over saturation of the housing market with new developments which were banking on a "sure thing" with the expansion going ahead.
The flip side is some people's distrust in the integrity of the big corporations who are linked with the expansion. The distrust is based around the core areas of environmental conservation and the impact on other industry such as fishing and tourism, "real" benefits for locals vs out of town and overseas workers being brought to Bowen for the expansion phase and what all of this will mean in the long term for our town.
I am a big believer in debate and discussion - and that it can only bring a better understanding of the wider issues - and that EVERYONE has a right to express themselves and their concerns and to be listened to. 
What has my heart heavy with this debate is the appalling manner in which my town folk are treating each other - the insults flying freely, people being told their opinions and concerns don't count, a "shut up if you don't think the same as us" attitude, and some really, really, really loose use of "facts" to try and sway opinion - from both sides of the extremists.
Its really off putting and saddening to realise that the egos of some people are breaking down the very fabric of what living in a small community should be about - having respect for your neighbours and working TOGETHER towards an outcome that everyone can live with happily. I mean, I know not everyone could ever be made happy (especially the extremist "greenies" and the extremist "anti-greenies") - but there has got to be a better way to deal with this debate other than bullying and badgering and bulldozer-ing everyone into thinking the same. I don't want to live in a world where everyone thinks the same -  how would we ever have change and improvement? The only thing I want everyone to think the same about is how to treat each other, and sadly that just isn't happening.
I am not sure what will happen, and I am not sure how I will feel about it when it does happen. All I know is I grew up with some of the people who's behaviour is so upsetting to me - and it makes me question what has happened to us? Have we become so tied up in ourselves that we have forgotten how to care for each other? I relocated my husband to the other side of the world because I didn't want to raise our children in a city where it's the norm to look the other way and not have close relationships with the people you live around. I grew up so differently to that - where the neighbourhood kids played in the street; safe in the knowledge that we were all looking out for each other, where your mum found out you were smoking behind the town hall before you even got home to breathe your stinky breath on her and where, when times were tough, you knew a neighbour, a friend or a family member was just around the corner with an offer of help.
If that isn't how my sleepy little town operates any more - if progress and industry has replaced manners and kindness - and if people I once respected are going to turn on each other - then what the hell did I come back here for? I wouldn't want my children to witness the things I have heard and read seemingly "decent" people say to and about each other lately, it's heartbreaking.
Maybe its the migraine I have been rocking all day. Maybe its a distraction from other things I would normally be stressed about. Maybe I got me a case of the boo-hoo-blues. Whatever it is, I am a sad sack - and cannot wait for the decision to be made already so all of this silly-ness can end. Or maybe, just maybe, it's time for me to start scouting for my teepee commune haven in the rainforest I have always dreamt of - and just be done with this place once and for all.

I feel majorly guilty for not being "positive" in this post - but it's how I am feeling and I couldn't even pretend it's not - so I am just going to go with it. 
Maybe a playlist will cheer me up..... who knows?