A habit of mine that annoys Jon no end is watching the same movies over and over again. One of these movies for me is Amelie. I love it. I love everything about it. I love the visual, the colours, the story, the characters, even the bloody accents! But what I love most about it is the feeling I get after watching it. You know those movies that make you feel so happy and hopeful and just "fuzzy" inside. If I could be any amount as optimistic and trusting in fate and the goodness of mankind that Amelie is - then this phase in my life would be a lot lot LOT easier. I try really hard, I try to be conscious of others around me and not caught up in my own misery. I try to not let it affect me in my day to day goings on - but every now and then (read: probably more than that) I have a reaction to something someone says or does that normally wouldn't bother me but is wrapped in my self pity and "why-me?"s. If you have ever been on the receiving end of one of these reactions - I apologise - please stick with me - I promise this positivity thing is getting better by the day :)
With the recent purchase of my new laptop (*ahem*macbook*ahem*loveit*) and my complete and utter lack of technical savvy - I have had to spend a bit of time this week downloading some tunes to fill my newly empty Ipod (did I mention lack of technical savvy? that thing took like 3 seconds to wipe - who knew?). I can't tell you how long it has been since I listened to Violent Femmes - Add It Up but can I tell you its still good - like really good. Soundgarden, Mazzy Starr, Jane's Addiction, Beck, Tool, Stone Temple Pilots etc etc - so good! As my ears enjoyed that trip down memory lane, my brain wandered to days of long summers spent cruising in friend's cars sipping blue slushies and doing beach cruises, skipping school to go to Airlie Beach to get my first tattoo (and lying to the tattooist about being old enough) and other assorted teenage memorabilia. Those days are the ones I hope I never forget - because they make me happy to remember how much fun we had. Sure I made some dumb decisions (tattoo around belly button anyone?) and have lost touch with a lot of the people that meant so much to me then - but it makes me so happy to think that I lived and learned and am an adult who won't regret never having the freedom to enjoy my youth. It also makes me feel like when Jon and I have a child/children of our own I will have some leg to stand on when I say "I was your age once - I know what you kids get up to" and hopefully have the life lessons learned to give the best advice and guidance to maybe do things differently to me - or maybe the same - I didn't do that bad of a job surely?
I love to sew - I am not particularly good at it - but I really enjoy the process of picking up a needle and thread and putting something together that didn't exist before. Fortunately for me I have a plethora of friends who are constantly churning out babies for me to test these sewing skills on. This week saw the arrival of one of these friend's babies so I got to work on a widdle bunny wabbit to go her way. I know my handmade gifts are a bit wonky and saggy and not very Fisher Pryce-y but they are made with love and care and best intentions - it's all I can really give that means something from me. It makes me think of being a kid and spending weekends at my Nan's house with my mum - while they laboured over making clothes and toys and adorning shoes with sequins and recycling every bit of fabric and old clothing we had to make something new. I hated it as a child - I wanted all the brand name stuff with the new tags on like any kid would I suppose. But we were always dressed nice and never went without a thing (my mum even made us sleeping bags! Mine had Donald Duck on it and an inbuilt pillow - genius that old bird of mine!) and as an adult with a mortgage and all the trappings of modern life I GET IT now. So if these hands of mine can pass on even a portion of my family's tradition for recycling and remaking and creating I will be very happy - and so will my bank balance.
Being sick makes me a sook. I spent 3 days (literally - not exaggerating - 3 days!!) in bed sick this week and all I wanted was someone to fetch me drinks and pat my head with a wet towel and rub my achey limbs and all that stuff. But the one thing that will always make me feel better is freshly laundered bedding. That smell of fresh sheets, fabric softener and sunshine dried - LUSH! I don't know if she will even remember it - but I have a friend who a very long time ago once did the simple act of washing my sheets and having my bed fresh and ready for me when I got home. I probably didn't say it at the time - and she probably doesn't even remember - but that simple act made a really horrible situation just that little bit better and I really appreciated it and loved her for it. That's why people like that are still in my life - and why I love her and all the friends and family who have been/are there to support us at the moment.
With the Clomid I have been taking, my taste buds have been all over the shop - mostly towards the stodge shop unfortunately. Bread, pasta, rice, noodles, potatoes, pastry etc - I guess thats what they were referring to with the "you may experience bloating" warning. It seems to have calmed down somewhat with this second round so I have been enjoying a bit of fruit and veg ( DO NOT even mention pumpkin to me at the moment though - bleccchhhh!) - hopefully this is a good practice round for morning sickness and cravings and all that fun stuff I hopefully have to look forward to. If I go to the next round of Clomid it will be double the strength that we are taking now - god help me, Jochheims Pie Shop better close for that month or I am in BIG trouble! Fingers crossed there is no third round though ;)
To end this week I would like to say a big big big WELCOME TO THE WORLD to miss Aaliyah Kay Upkett - the newest addition to my darling friend Lisa and her partner Dallas' lives. Cannot wait for cuddles xx