I spent the hour long solo journey on the highway going through fits of panic and dread and then talking myself out of it. I wasn't sure what I was hoping for - either the Clomid had worked or not - those were the only two options. But the implications of both options were proving very daunting in that hour long journey.
What if the medication HAD worked but I still haven't fallen pregnant? Does that mean something else is wrong? Will I have more testing unpleasantness to look forward to??
OR what if the Clomid HADN'T worked and I am bumped up to a double dose? Will my marriage survive double the sickness/emotional torture? Will double the dose make any difference? Maybe my insides are so poisonous that I am destined to grow nothing there but sadness? <--dramatic I know - but these are actual thoughts that have gone through my head!
Anyways - Dr Whatever-his-name-was very happily reported that the Clomid has very clearly and definately and successfully done its job (insofar as I have ovulated) and that he will prescribe me two more rounds of it - but that hopefully I won't need them. And that was about it. Off I toddled with my prescription and my slip for the receptionist and that was....it. It took me till the carpark to realise I was grinning pretty hard out and that I felt a real sense of relief. I guess I was rooting for the medication to have worked after all. I am not a complete medical pain the arse when it comes to fertility treatment! Woot woot! So it's back to much of the same - and a buttload of positive thinking, good vibes and being the good little bunnies that we have been over the past several months to try and get this thing done already....
So there we go - that is my update from today's goings ons... If anyone would like to find out a bit more about Clomid (clomiphene) and what it actually does you can find out here.
This week I have been:
Reading - The new Country Style magazine - I am obsessed with this magazine - I have literally piles of them all around my house - and that's AFTER a cull! I reckon if I put each of the piles on top of each other it would prolly reach the ceiling.... and I am not even ashamed to admit that. Such a great mag for those of us who like researching anything from home renovations to gardening tips to recipes to craft patters and ideas ie those of us who are turning into nannas before they are 40! Seriously tho - I love it.
Watching - Apart from my usual (Boardwalk Empire and rewatching my favourite old movies) I attempted to start watching the Sons of Anarchy series this past week. A LOT of people I know rave about it - and watch it and discuss it religiously so I thought it might be up my alley. Ughhh, alas, it is not. I have done 4 episodes and honestly cannot bring myself to watch another - even if it does get better as I have been told. The acting - oh man! - the terrible, stiff, stilted, unwatchable acting! The dialogue - sheesh! - the predictable, corny, cringing dialogue! All I can say is - the producers of the show better hope and pray that the actor who plays Jax never wants to leave the show - because if it wasn't for his purdy face they would be up poo poo creek without a paddle! (sorry girls - I really did try to like it I promise haha)
Listening to - Being a creature of habit means that I am a little wary to try new things most of the time - including new music. This week I downloaded a few new albums and threw my grinchy ways out the window and gave them a really good listen. Firstly, Birdy's self titled album (that came out last year I am pretty sure) - definately not a listen-all-the-way-through-er but there are a couple of tracks I dont mind at all - her Fleet Foxes "White Winter Hymnal" cover is pretty alright (that's coming from someone who loves the original even) and "Shelter" (originally The xx) is pretty alright too. The other album I dug - surprisingly - is Nas' latest Life Is Good - for those of you who don't mind a little gansta thuggy thang (clearly not up Jon's alley - while one track "Accident Murderers" was playing in the car today I was told "nope, I don't like this, these lyrics are ridiculous, accident murderes,phhhttttt!" He's probably got a point....
See you all on Sunday night - as long as the power doesn't go out again! Thanks for reading xx