Saturday, 17 November 2012

Round 4 - ding ding!

Round 4 of Clomid begins this week with a fight - arms swinging, legs kicking, lots of swearing, sweat and stubbornness - it is time for this shit to WORK already!

I am actually surprising myself how easy it is to deal with disappointment and stay positive these days. I didn't even cry this time when Round 3 didn't work!
And then I take a look around at some of the women that I have in my life and I guess it all starts making sense. How could I NOT be strong when I have their stories of inspiration to draw on. In fact, I feel like what we are dealing with probably pales in comparison (although still valid in it's own right).

Probably the best example of have of this I have is my Nan. Ellie to those who love her. She was widowed when my mum was around 5 years old. Her husband had to take seasonal farm work (jackaroos they were called) all around Australia to earn a living - and was actually all the way down in Victoria when he died. And so there was my Nan, single woman raising 8 children on her own. She refused to claim government assistance because she was petrified that the government would take her children away. 

This probably stems from hearing stories from her dad about his treatment by the government and their, for lack of a better word, SHITHOUSE treatment of indigenous people back in those days. Nan's dad (Pop) had been forcibly removed from his community and area he grew up in because he refused to work for no money. He was a "trouble maker" because he didn't do as he was told - so he was packed up and sent to Palm Island. Anyone who is from our area knows the reputation Palm Island has now - I have no idea what it was like back then - needless to say he didnt stay there long, but those scars of being taken from his mob, his family, his community, his country by his government were with him till the day he died - and passed on to my Nan too no doubt.

She got a full time job and soldiered on - raising her family with the help of her two eldest children who left school to be able to help. She weathered the storm of being as single parent (in a time VERY different to now) without ever taking another husband or boyfriend. She suffered the devastating and sudden loss of 3 of her children. She raised 4 of her grandchildren (one with special needs) on her own - and still have one of those grandchildren living with her to this day). And all without a moment of complaint or self pity or asking for help. Just getting on with .... well ..... getting on.

I see a lot of that spirit in my mum now - she lives and breaths for her work - trying to make our community a better place for everyone - even though she is exhausted and worn out and spat out and has nothing left in the reserve tanks - she just gets on with it.

Similarly, my friends who draw on strength and maturity beyond our years to deal with children with illness and behavioural disorders, relationship breakdowns, single parenthood, lack of financial stability and just the e-x-h-a-u-s-t-i-o-n of day to day life really reinforce to me the power of positive thinking, of how much support you can be to someone if you just open your ears and heart (and sometimes your arms); and how we are equipped, as women, to fight every battle thrown at us - especially if that battle involves family.

So thank you to those beautiful women in my life who make me realise every day how fortunate AND ferocious I am. You really put the "ding" in my swing and this fight is about to end in a knockout!

Thanks again for reading folks xx

PS Huge-mongous WELCOME TO THE WORLD little Evie Cole - so so happy we have finally got to meet you and have a cuddle (even if it did start in tears haha). 
PPS I promise more pics, less dribbling on next time - life has been too hectic to even get the camera out - sad :(


  1. You're so blessed to have such a wonderful role model Sara! What an inspiration!

    I wish I could magic up some good news for you, but as you said, being positive is the only thing that you can do. I feel so guilty that everything happened for us by accident and there's so many people out there wishing and hoping for that baby news and it's not happening. I'm thinking of you and wishing you every happiness! Hopefully your knockout will come soon enough! xo

    1. Oh Jess, you shouldn't feel bad at all! It all works out exactly as it is meant to in the end - and that adora-balls little mushroom should never make you feel guilty, ever! Thank you for your support and thoughts - you rawwwk! Xxoo